How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
