I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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