She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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