But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
