they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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