Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
