I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
