Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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