I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
