I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
