So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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