His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
