Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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