And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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