Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
