Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
