I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
