Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How does one acquire holy water?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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