Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
