They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
