I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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