also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
