Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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