He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Is it penis luge time yet?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm at about main and main street
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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