Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
