Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
