I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
