if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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