Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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