Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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