It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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