If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
