well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
