so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
