Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Two words: nipple clamps
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