I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
