just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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