My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
