I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I AM VODKA MAN
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
