you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
