He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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