im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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