walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
