woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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