He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
