ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
