You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
