so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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