I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
