My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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