I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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